Precious Moments

By Malcolm Fraser

Body:

As a kid I thought I had come up with the idea of reincarnation. I excitedly told my dad and he informed me that the concept already existed.

***

Alistair: “I kept writing all these memos to myself and then finding them and not knowing what I’d meant when I wrote them…’Pave the backward child’ was one, and I couldn’t figure it out…”

***

I dreamt that Charles Bukowski, Mickey Rourke and I got into a bar fight with a giant pair of disembodied legs.

***

In September of 1995, Mike was talking to Fraser, Jenny, Joanne and I about eating bugs.

Mike: “Frase, I took a bee into my mouth…and I fucked it up, I fucked it up. I fucking fucked its shit up. Holy shit, Frase, I’ve done fuckin’ bees, I’ve done fuckin’ ants, I’ve done fuckin’ earwigs…

Joanne: “Have you ever done a cockroach?”

Mike: “I have never done a cockroach.”

In March of 1996, the same subject came up again with Adam and I.

Adam: “Have you ever eaten a cockroach?”

Mike: “No. The closet I’ve come is an earwig.”

Adam: “What? What circumstance would lead you to eat an earwig?”

Mike: “I found it in the bathroom.”

Malcolm: “So that’s the reason? Like it wouldn’t have tasted as good if you found it in the living room?”

Mike: “It tasted disgusting. Like nothing in the world tastes like an earwig. Ants taste good though. They taste like lemons.”

***

Morgan told me that he had decided to become asexual; that he was going to reproduce only by cloning, and that he kept some of his blood and semen in a jar festooned with flashing lights that he called “Morgan Junior”. I asked him if it was really true and he gave a vague reply about Plato’s notion of the “shadow level” of truth.

***

Steve lives in Montreal. He says he always sees the guy from the Doughboys, the guy from Bootsauce and the guy from Men Without Hats hanging out together looking dejected.

Precious Moments

 

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