Beer: What Are You Leaving Behind?

You buy it, drink it, and return  the empties. Pretty simple, except  for the fact that empty beer bottles  may not be the only thing you are  taking back to the beer store with  you. I spoke to Peggy Berger who  works the lines “Laverne and  Shirley” style at a local brewery.  Part of her job is to take the empties  out of returned cases and many  times each day, she removes much  more than beer bottles from them…  Free Fixin’s: You are emptying a  beer case and notice that there are  other objects inhabiting it besides  bottles. How often does this  happen?  Peggy: Everyone finds something at  least a few times a day. You’re  always finding something weird.  Mostly cockroaches and earwigs,  but a lot of objects as well.  What are some of the objects that  you’ve found?  I’ve found a fridge magnet of  someone’s toddler, I found an ear  to a Mr. Potato Head, a goalie from  a miniature hockey game, and a  ‘Hustler’ picture of two chicks, one  was sucking the other’s tit. I’ve also  found a beer cozy, Kinder Egg  Surprise, this weird bra that said  “Aqua” on it and lots and lots of  keys.  Do you have a favourite find?  Yes, I found this little figure of an  animated cartoon woman. She  looks like a Karate fighter. I took it  home. I also took the goalie home.  I didn’t keep the Hustler picture  though, although I did show it to  everyone else on the line.  What do you and your co-workers  do with most of these objects?  We keep a lot of the stuff. We stick  any magnets or pictures onto the  line to decorate it and make it more  aesthetically pleasing. Some  people take the objects; home, and  the rest of it gets thrown out.  Did  anyone  take the ‘Hustler’  picture home?  No. I was passing it around the line  and ( showed it to this one guy who  turned very pale when he saw it. He  grabbed the picture and kipped it up  into little pieces. All of the other co- workers got a kick out of it though.  How do you think these variety of  objects end up in the beer cases?  People have beer cases sitting in  their homes forever. Things fall into  the cases and people don’t even  realize it. Eventually they notice the  object missing and wonder ‘where  did that go to?’  Any advice to beer drinkers?  If you ever lose your keys, check  your beer cases!

from Free Fixin’s by Linda  Beer.

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